False Start.

Well.
Disregard my previous post about being single and homeless.

Yes, of course I'm still single.

Just not homeless. My house sale fell through today.

You may guess that I was not happy to get that phone call. Given the fact that it is Monday, I'm PMSing, and I'm feeling both annoyed at my boss and inadequate at my job, I made the choice to leave the office as quickly as I could after the call.

I changed as fast as I could and went for a run, with the following thoughts tumbling along beside me...

"maybe i should just look for a different job close to midland and forget selling...do i really fit in here anyway...at least my family will stop telling me not to buy a house now...should i check northwood? delta? go back to social work?....it would be really awkward to leave - i love alma, but......maybe i should just watch for jobs when i visit texas next week...maybe kay would move down there with me and we could just live together forever and not need other people (even though we'd annoy each other to death within days)...i give up, i need to go back to work to do this presentation...i'm so tired..."

And so I did what all good, conscientious workers do and headed back to work. I spent 30 minutes preparing for tomorrow, then lugged my pile of resume and cover letter books upstairs to present a workshop on creating effective resumes and cover letters. And watched as my 9 students stared at me, occasionally reacting, but otherwise looking like they were suffering from food coma at 7 p.m....and just sat there when I finished, because I finished in 45 minutes.

What's wrong with finishing early?

Anyway, feeling as I did, I was uncertain of my reception, but felt good when a student stayed after to talk and seemed appreciative....then two other students came in to use the room and one gushed about how helpful our office has been...and finally I walked out into the main library and was welcomed by several students as they told me about upcoming job interviews (one with the LOONS tomorrow!), jobs secured after attending a job fair with me in November, and how they have told all of their friends to come visit me for help.

And I walked away thinking,
"maybe I do fit here. maybe I should stay. and this house thing? it was just a false start."